Every day, 24 hours, 365 days a year. For the most part, the world lives on a 24-hour clock. You probably have heard of ‘a sketch a day’ or other ‘everyday’ projects like the crypto art $ breaking sale of Beeple’s ‘Everydays’ in which he created an image from start to finish every day for 13 years. We look at completeness in terms of the 24-hour circadian clock-- ”the man’s clock”. Literally, testosterone is highest in the morning, notice how we begin work around 9 AM, and then beings to drop off in the evening around 5 PM--hence the 9-5 workday.
Now nothing against men’s biological clock, but the timing of our world is run in a way that’s pretty one-sided, benefiting testosterone, which they have done a great job at leveraging & optimizing their biology. A short circuit battery (male) compared to a long circuit (female)--neither one being better but different.
Within the less familiar infradian rhythm clock (your monthly cycle), for women, completeness lies within every phase. A 28 day series of phases that cyclically repeats. Similar to the cycles of the seasons and the Earth--very few things in nature repeat the same thing every day.
Every 28 days, since around 14 years old, I have had debilitating menstrual pain. I have crossed over to the other side and returned, I have woken up in pools of sweat and blood, and I have gone unconscious due to the shock from the writhing, knife-bending, piercing stabs of the cramps. I usually would have to go to the Emergency room, when I could afford it. I have had surgery, been on multiple medications, birth controls, countless doctors who have said it’s all in my head, to just have a baby and it will go away--all of the usual medical sales pitches that turned out to be completely false.
Basically, I know what hell looks like. I have visited it every 28 days--the prison of Endometriosis. Until last year, when I realized that I held the key to that prison, and I HEALED myself. I healed a chronic condition with my mindset, diet & lifestyle--what most western doctors deemed ‘impossible’, I did it anyway. I educated myself on what we eat and how it impacts our hormones, revealing what endo truly was so that I could see it clearly and leverage my biology from being my weakness to being my power source. I have had the most generous & caring pelvic floor physical therapist, sex therapist & powerful health reading material to guide and help me get to where I am today. I will be forever grateful for them. However, it’s ultimately because of my own willingness to look at the inconvenient truths, that I found the person I really needed to get me through it---myself.
I am thankful to all of the doctors who called me crazy because of their own lack of knowledge. I am thankful for my sexual abuse & trauma. It isn’t until you actually become grateful for something, that you truly have power over it. They really are the compressed coals that have become gems in my crown. If I did have their help, I would have been denied the absolute privilege that it is to discover this power on your own. And I wouldn’t be starting this series. In no way am I diminishing the pain of what I have gone through, but rather celebrating the makings of the absolute empowerment I have now, because of my willingness to look.
True freedom is not given, it is discovered, and claimed. It is a choice. It’s the kind no one can take away from you because it’s completely yours. It’s only in hindsight that we realize all of those seemingly inconvenient things are actually benefiting us if we let them. I realized that nothing happens that doesn’t benefit me. It’s not a lie you tell yourself, but an available awareness & reality. I kept the desire and I gave up the struggle, and my wish is for it to spread to all women dealing with endo.
So I’ve explained all of this to you to say, starting in April, I will be creating a piece of art from start to completion not every day, but every phase for the next 13 years. The series will be called ‘Every Phase’. Within each 28 day cycle, there are 4 phases: Follicular, Ovulatory, Luteal & Menstrual. To learn more, follow the art of each phase which will be informed by the different brain and body chemistry that will inform and impact the art pieces. Follow the series as I create art as a process of uncovering what's buried inside. I use my creativity to transcend & share what I have revealed, shining a light on what is veiled for myself & others.
